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2015: Here’s Where The Story Ends

The year that is/was has been, in so many ways, revelatory, transitional, and challenging. If I had one takeaway from the year to end, it is that everything is in constant flux, change is inevitable, and the Universe finds a way to make things happen for you, as long as you want it. Some may take longer than others, but I believe that sooner or later, they will happen. I am not one to keep tabs of what I’ve been hoping or wanting for, and a number of them I do tend to forget – but there will be those little moments, however mundane, just comes creeping in quietly, waking up feelings you thought you’d forgotten. And  you will have never felt more alive.

Discoveries of the year:

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There is such a thing as multipotentialities. Never limit yourself to a moneymaking venture, or a single thing that you are good at. The world is big and endless possibilities and opportunities abound. Learn things, and chase dreams.

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All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another —Anatole France. In so many aspects of my life this year, I have learned that everything changes. Though there will be constants, life never ceases to surprise. Change is never easy, and sacrifices will be made. People will come and go. And the discomfort that follows does not mean to make us suffer, rather acts as a prerequisite to being reborn.

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You have to accept that some people are not made for deep conversations, or for holding you together when you’re about to fall apart, or for keeping you from unzipping your skin, or for talking you out of suicide, or to love you through the worst moments of your life. Some people are made for shallow exchanges, and ridiculous banter, and nothing more. And that’s okay. That doesn’t make them horrible people because they simply aren’t able to handle a storm like you. It doesn’t make you a bad person because you won’t divulge all the gritty details of your horror show. It makes you smart. You have to accept that there will be people that cannot give you what you need. It doesn’t mean they are not worth keeping in your life. You just have to figure out who these ones are before you’re disappointed. And you have to keep them at arm’s length. You cannot expect everyone in your life to understand, to be nonjudgmental, to get it. But that’s okay, because not everyone was made to impart wisdom, or wax-poetic, or speak on politics and the depravity of society, or discuss how crucial it is that the stigma of mental illness be abolished. There are times when you have to get away from all that heaviness. You have to. And you will need superficial conversation about Kim Kardashian’s arse, or a debate on the color of The Dress. You will need those ones. So don’t go round cutting people off and dropping your friends. You need people for all your seasons. You need people or you won’t survive this.” —Anonymous, What my therapist told me this morning

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Being busy is overrated and laziness is a secret virtue. While being busy has been the core of my 2015, there have been countless times when I have had emotional breakdowns over the stress and exhaustion at work. More than ever, I’ve discovered how hungry my soul has been for rest, for that occasional repose when I can just be still. And for the following year, here’s to hoping I find the balance I have been looking for.

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Breakfast is still the happiest and most important meal of the day. Never underestimate the power of a delicious, hearty breakfast to turn your mood around.

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Fight for your right to sleep for eight hours each night. Like food, sleep is one of the most powerful things that can make or break you.

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If the ocean can calm itself, so can you. We are both salt water mixed with air. (Meditation, Nayyirah Waheed) This was one of the toughest challenges I have had to face this year. Self-doubt and the conflict within made it so difficult to make peace with my own imperfections. I have yet to get there, but I always tell myself, I am still trying.

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Maybe there’s something you’re afraid to say, or someone you’re afraid to love, or somewhere you’re afraid to go. It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt because it matters. (John Green, Will Grayson, Will Grayson) There are decisions that must be made, no matter how difficult they seem. As long as the reasons come from a good place, there will always be something good that will come out of it. Just do it.

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A ‘no’ might make them angry but it will make you free. (Nayyirah Waheed) Always listen to what your heart and mind tell you. Always make yourself the most important person, the top priority.

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I listened to an almost forgotten sound within myself as if my heart, long stopped, were calmly beginning to beat again. (Albert Camus) There are parts of ourselves that we bury, that we forget, to make way for other aspects to grow. And somehow, in the most unexpected of circumstances, someone you’ve been searching for quite sometime now will appear, and suddenly, all of the movies, all of the quotes, all of the songs will start to make sense. And you aren’t scared, and it will surprise you because doubt has always been a constant part of you. But then you realize the meaning makes itself, and you have no doubt that it’s magic, and you know where it’s headed, and it just feels right.

With all these in mind, I believe a wonderful, magical 2016 awaits me.

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